Monday, December 5, 2011

DECEMBER. The happiest month as people claim.

I tried to have a trip down memory lane, figure out if 
this is true in my case. I believe it is. 
In fact, IT IS.

Two years ago, something happened I didn't expect.
Someone came that I didn't expect.


December 4th.

We were playing cards, drank a little - enough to 
forget all the stress we had for the week. Someone came 
up with the idea of playing Truth or Dare which was 
completely modified to a JUST-DARE-GAME. I can't 
remember who it was, but I know it's a She. We played 
along, embarrassed ourselves and I ended up taking a 
dare and kissed you JUST NEAR your lips. There were a 
lot of laughs and hoorahs and boos and I don't cares. 
But what was left remembering is there was a hint of 
tickle in my heart.

December 8th.

We never planned to go along with some friends to a 
birthday party. I was the only girl, because I was 
supposed to be with someone else that day. But he 
ditched me and I went with you instead. We were having 
fun all night, stargazed and laughed. Until I remember 
I had to do something important. You did me a favor and 
walked me home. We strolled around the block and talked 
about ourselves. And We finally agreed that we SOMEHOW 
liked each other. But not that a great of an impact. We 
just sat under a tree, in the middle of the night, and 
that awkward feeling slapped our faces when we started 
kissing. I don't know how. We both don't know why.

December 18th.

Someone noticed something weird is going on. He stood 
up to me asked if there was anything between us. Of 
course I said no, because there isn't, YET. But we both 
knew that this is leading to something. After a 
Christmas party, we stayed at a friend's house. Drank 
until the night is out, puked everywhere, and just 
laughed at each other's asses. My head was spinning all 
over the place - I've never been this drunk before. I 
decided to sleep, and I woke up seeing your face - in 
my face. We kissed again. This time, I knew why. 
Because WE WE'RE DRUNK. 

December 31st.

Yes, we were in a complete state of mind. But there was 
something wrong with how we felt. We both were 
devastated how our status went falling apart. You badly 
needed a hug, so did I. Rendezvous - then something 
beautiful happened. 


December 18th & 19th.

Sharing the night like it's forever. 
No questions asked.


December 3rd.

You're so far away, yet you still managed to send 
chills down my spine. You just texted me with a kissy 
face and told me the exact date when I will see you 
again. You don't know how I excited I am.

December 22nd.

The day the plane you will be on, will land on this 
exact day. But I will still come to work, so I won't be 
seeing you, YET.

December 23rd.

It's not what you think. I mean, it'll be my first time 
seeing you after months, so I will definitely be 
ecstatic and over, overwhelmed. My heart will skip, I'm 
guessing, 10 beats.

December 24th - 29th.

This will definitely be my best Christmas.

Friday, November 18, 2011


I miss him  - terribly.

Good thing, he came back from work. He smiled at me and greeted me good morning. He even planted a kiss on my cheek. I was waiting for him. I just got off  from work too. Then we ate breakfast together and went in to the room.

Then I told him that I was really tired from work, and so is he. I sat on the bed, then he asked if he can sleep beside me, so we can rest together. Of course I agreed. We hugged each other so tight that we both finally fell asleep.

The alarm went on. I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep so deep. It was almost time for work. I rummaged through my closet, found a dress to wear at work. And I kissed him, told him that I'll be back real quick. I 'll  just eat my dinner and take a shower. But he got up, and ate his dinner with me. We took shower together. And I got ready for work. I kissed him goodbye as I walked out of the front door. He will be at work too anytime later. He said he'll just take a little nap after I leave. I came in to the office and took in calls, while he took care of people in the ER.

I miss him already. I can't wait to give him another kiss when I get home.

But the kisses and the hugs don't feel natural at all. Well, of course it won't.
It's just a plain text message. All is in my head.

Monday, September 26, 2011

"Distance means so little when someone means so much."

To the heavens I plead, to make the time stand still. 
If only I could play tug of war with the second hand, I would.

So I can capture that exact moment we last held hands, 
walking through the ocean of people, not minding any single one of them.

The moment our lips last intertwined, sharing that passion we always have.

The moment I last drew my body close to you, letting my soul be free with yours.

I just want to inhale, breathe that exact moment when I last felt your heart beat next to mine.

"Distance means so little when someone means so much." 

341.95 MILES AWAY.

Rain drops as my tears fall down my cheeks.

I have always wondered what it feels like to be alone. I figured I shouldn't have wished for that.

Today would be the most depressing chapter of my life - so far.

Since last night, I have been rubbing my eyes with much effort because I was like a broken faucet, don't know how to stop from severe crying. 

I wanted to pull myself together. But the sobbing won't let me.
I just want to break down and cry.

I am alone.
He's just there. But I feel so alone.

Hundred miles apart, YET...
"True love doesn't mean being inseparable; it means being separated and nothing changes."
Maybe that would be the only thing that I can hold on to.


Friday, July 8, 2011


Everyday, I feel sicker than yesterday. I just want to lay down in bed, think things over, plan my life ahead, watch Baby First, and eat Potchi - lots of Potchi!!!

But that doesn't sound good to my kin. They want me rummaging around, doing things for them and blah. WHERE'S MY PROMISE TO MYSELF THAT I WILL REST FOR A WEEK? And by that, I mean 1 week of being a couch potato, "living like a princess", and more adjectives to come...

Because after that rest week, I plan to devote the next week for travelling here and there, marching around offices to get valid IDs. (I only have my passport at hand!) BECAUSE I WANT TO GET A JOB!!!

It spells M-O-N-E-Y for myself. At least, while I'm waiting for the result of my board exam, I have something to be busy with. PLUS I am earning. CHACHING. CHACHING. 

And now, the week's almost over and I haven't even gotten up late! Sigh. I guess I'll just have to keep my body moving before my muscles atrophy. 

Saturday, June 11, 2011


Please make your neurons transmit every message, every info!!! Your cells are starting to dissolve!!! Excite them and keep those electric impulses coming!!!

Sigh. I've been out of myself these past few weeks. I can't concentrate, can't focus.
WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO? Seems like I'm drifting slowly away from my Nursing world.
Twenty more days to go...

My bridge to a long and bright career - will I be able to cross? Or will it crumble in front of me?

Lord, give me strength. 
I promise to stock my head with knowledge, 
but impart me with wisdom. 
Help me surpass my board exam. :)

Monday, May 16, 2011

Oh yes, I'm yours.

So while at the review early this morning... WHILE WAITING FOR DR. TU (who's been almost half an hour late!), I borrowed Carlo's mp3 player and tried listening to his playlist. After a couple of songs, I heard this one and it ENTICED my musical ears.

I'm Yours
The Script

You touch these tired eyes of mine
And map my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine

I listen close for I’m not smart
You wrap you thoughts in works of art
And they’re hanging on the walls of my heart

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I’m yours

And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I’m quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I’m yours

You heeled these scars over time
Embraced my soul
You loved my mind

You’re the only angel in my life

The day news came my best friend died
My knees went week and you saw me cry
Say I’m still the soldier in your eyes

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I’m yours

And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I’m quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I’m yours

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
I know I don’t fit in that much
But I’m yours

Friday, May 6, 2011


She's my mother, not my mom.
They've been my moms, but are not my mother.

“My mom is so cool, she lets me stay up all night”, “My mom asks me about how my studies are going, and she asks me about what’s happening to me in school”, “I really cried when my mom left for abroad”. 

            These statements coming from my friends really make me want to have my own mom sitting there in the couch beside me, asking me things she is really concerned about. I wanted to feel so badly how a mother cares for her daughter. And that is because I never had a chance to be with my mother.

            At times when I feel sick, I just cry myself to sleep, wishing that there would be someone to comfort me, take care of me, and love me like a real mother does. And as for my father, he wasn’t and isn’t capable of taking care of me because he has vices and is jobless. I was born with a complete family, but grew up with actually no one but my grandparents and aunts. 

          I can still remember my aunt telling me stories about how I ended up with them instead of with my own parents. She told me that when my mother knew she was carrying me in her womb, she had grave thoughts of abortion. She actually thought of not having me as her child since she wanted to go abroad to earn some living. But my father disagreed. He insisted to let me live. And when I was born in this world – I don’t know, but I really think she doesn’t want me – she thought of giving me away. I became sad because my brother who is a year older than me was left with my other grandmother (maternal side). And there comes my loving grandmother (paternal side) in action. She got me and she took care of me. But since she wasn’t able to watch me all day long because she teaches, she asked my aunt to take care of me instead.

            And this is the luckiest part of my life. I think, without my aunt’s hard hands in teaching me at home and in school, I would not be like this. I would not be this good in school. Because I was only 2 years old then when I first learned how to read. She was persistent in teaching me all those stuff in school even at my young age. That’s why without her, also with the aid of my other aunts, I won’t be able to be excellent and I won’t be able to gather all my achievements in life and in school.

            Funny, PTA meetings have been a big dilemma for me. I always ask myself how possibly I can have the decent parents to attend those kinds of meetings. And every time I go up in stage, receiving medals, certificates and awards, I always have that feeling of depression, envy and self-pity. I am depressed for not having my parents come up the stage and feel proud with me. I envy my classmates when I see their parents put the medal around their neck and take pictures showing how happy and complete their family is. I pity myself because I don’t get to have that feeling of extreme happiness that I have parents who are proud of their daughter being excellent in school. Only my grandparents and aunts are always present whenever there is an occasion like that. So, not having a complete family does not make me sad anymore, but instead, it made me realize that I should strive harder to achieve all my goals in life, to make them feel that it is a very big loss to them that they weren’t able to witness all my accomplishments, and to make them realize that I am not worthy of being deprived of a good family.

Now that I’ve grown up I believe my grandparents and my aunts are my only family. They’ve stood up for me. They gave me all, much more than a good family can give. They loved me as if I was their own, even though they each had children to watch over too. They gave me the best education I can ever get. They supported and still support me in every endeavour I undertake. They are always there. Even though I don’t get to have my own parents, I still consider myself lucky because the kind of family God has given me is so much better than those of my friends or even those of other people. I thank God for making my life beautiful and fulfilling even without parents.

Nanay, Mama Lorie, Ate Lala and Mama Lhot,
I love you and 
I will forever be grateful.

Thursday, May 5, 2011


WUZZLES are word puzzles consisting of combinations of words, letters, figures or symbols positioned to create disguised words, phrases, names, places, sayings etc. This type of puzzle is called a rebus -- a word and symbol puzzle that dates back more than 2,000 years to the Persian Empire.

The secret to solving WUZZLES word puzzles is to determine the missing "concept," such as in, on, over, under, before, after, between etc. For example, the solution to NOON GOOD is "Good afternoon," and LINE READ LINE is "Read between the lines."

Here's some and I hope you guess them all right! :)
Answers will be provided after each wuzzle.

 1. Falling Temperature

2. Two Under Par
3. Fat Chance
4. Broken Heart
5. Hot Under the Collar
6. Head in the Sand

 1. Over my Dead Body
2. Right Under the Nose

3. See Eye to Eye
4. Looking Out for Number One
5. Be-Line
6. Home is Where the Heart Is


 1. Somewhere Over the Rainbow
2. X Marks the Spot

3. Put two and two Together
4. Just Right
5. I Before E Except After C
6. High Seas

 1. Play on Words
2. Get in Shape

3. Monkey on Your Back
4. Dr. Dolittle
5. Fooling Around
6. A Kick in the Butt

 1. Backing Up
2. Sleeping at the Wheel

3. Quarterback
4. Coffee Break
5. Identical Twins
6. Count the Ways

 1. No one to Blame
2. Right between the eyes

3. Jack in the Box
4. Down Payment
5. Left Overs
6. Bedspread

 1. Cry all the way to the bank
2. The stakes are high

3. That's too bad
4. Eyes in the back of my head
5. Miniskirt
6. All in All

 1. Last Dance
2. For Crying Out Loud

3. Inground Pool
4. No TV for a Week
5. High Frequency
6. Sit Ups

 1. Foreign Policy
2. Party line

3. Covered Wagon
4. Back to the Future
5. Midwife
6. Off Sides

 1. Working Overtime
2. Do Without

3. Teddy Bear
4. Shot in the Dark
5. Eiffel Tower
6. Long Island

 1. Tulips
2. Back in five minutes

3. One Life to Live
4. First Thing in the Morning
5. Go Through the Motion
6. The Coast is Clear

 1. Better safe than sorry
2. Wheel of Fortune

3. Hard times ahead
4. Black eyed peas
5. Jumbo Jet
6. Minimize

 1. Decide
2. Spaceship

3. Multiple Choice
4. Floor Model
5. Noone Knows
6. Thunderstorm

 1. Sixth Sense
2. To Sum it Up

3. Blanket
4. Strong Undertow
5. Back Issues
6. Stretching the Truth

 1. Keeping You Out of Trouble
2. Foreign Movie

3. A Little Rough Around the Edges
4. Too Little, Too Late
5. Double Your Money Back
6. Start of Something Big

 1. One step forward, two steps back
2. Double or nothing

3. Peppermint twist
4. Forefathers
5. Enroll
6. Addresses

 1. You can count on it
2. Foot in the door

3. No can do
4. Honest to goodness
5. Way overpriced
6. Living on a shoestring

 1. Drawn to scale
2. Round of Applause

3. Splitting Hairs
4. They're all the same
5. There's no end to it
6. Different strokes for different folks

 1. Words of wisdom
2. All dressed up and no place to go

3. Split two ways
4. High chair
5. Flat tire
6. Wake up, little Suzie

1. Standing Ovation

2. Tally ho
3. Blockhead
4. Shadow of doubt
5. We drove right by it
6. Tiptoe through the tulips

So, how many have you deciphered?
Was your brain boggled? :)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


I haven't been quite sure yet of what and where to be after I finished my first few errands in my life:

1. Review for the board exam.
2. Take the July board exam.
3. Pass the board exam.
4. Get a professional license.
5. Apply for a job.


Maybe I have an option. Maybe two or three. I dunno.

Last year, my aunt told me that we have a distant relative who works as a head at FEU Hospital. He can help me get a job there. I also told her that there's a new public hospital built near our residence in Manila and I am sure they need volunteers there, and so I can apply there too. And last night, she just told me that we have another distant relative who is the Cavite Provincial Administrator for Satellite Hospitals who can recommend me to any public hospital here in Cavite PLUS MONTHLY ALLOWANCES. WHEW! 

I know I shouldn't be worrying anything about it, about my future career. You see, that's a lot --no, that's quite enough for me. I have two or three options to juggle inside my brain. 

But I don't want to expect too much from them. WHAT IF there are no slots left? WHAT IF they decided not to prioritize me since I am a distant relative? WHAT IF I can't compose myself enough to digest everything that will happen? That'll be a HUGE change in my life, I know.

HUGE. Speaking of huge.
With everything that will be happening to me, a huge challenge is up.

Will we be together to anywhere? To everywhere?
I don't want to get my hopes up.


Monday, May 2, 2011


That's it.

Four minutes left and I have to get jumping! I woke up with blood-shot eyes. No, not of weed or anything crappy. I just stayed up all night, trying my very best of luck in this Casino Island To Go game installed in my laptop. Hahahahahahaha! And yes, after a couple of tries in Texas Hold 'Em Poker, it seemed like I had a dose of "Liquid Luck" -if you know what I'm saying.

Anyway, I still had to go to school and review for my board exam. It's Maternal Health Nursing and I really don't want to miss a thing. Ciao! :)

Here's what I looked like last night. 

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Creating deep words of my unending insides.
My unchanging woes of despair.
Telling the universe of how I was.
I used to be a poet.

For a moment, I thought.
And I thought. Nothing.
I gazed at the sky, murmured into.
It just answered with a smiling beam.

Where was my definition of love?
I queried, I cried, I looked.
Until my heart spoke to me.
It was there in the sand.

Never did it entered,
The hemispheres of my brain.
That in such time, I could
finish building my skywalk.

With a buried treasure underneath,
The sands of time will remind me.
For always, for all time.
It was there. Finally.


[Actually, I already put a tune on this poem. It was on our 8th month (01.30.11) that I completed the song. :)]